I’ve seen it over and over. I’ve done it myself. I’ve seen friends do it, and I’ve seen clients do it. Big goals, no results. Big goals are easy to get excited about and they’re fun to share with those around us. Unfortunately, big goals often end up leave us feeling guilty, with compromised self-worth, and a track record of perceived failure.
Goals are meant to be motivational and provide a sense of achievement and success. If you’re goals aren’t doing that, get new goals. In the video below, B.J. Fogg lays out some practical examples (and the scientific data to back them up) of how to make big changes through extremely small modifications to behavior. If we allow them to, small goals build a pattern of success, create self-efficacy, and let us enjoy the changes we’re trying to make. Feeling persecuted by a goal, is no way to live, and generally leads to less accomplishment.
The most common arguments against setting small goals go something like this: “I don’t want to lower the bar.” or “I should be able to [bigger goal].” or simply, “That seems dumb.” My response is fairly consistent. I simply ask how the big goals are helpful to making the desired changes and cultivating the desired feelings. I was how many time they have set that big goal and failed. At that point the option becomes clear. Do you continue trying the strategy you know doesn’t work, or are you willing to set and celebrate goals that you’d rather not have to set?
Integrating this approach into your life may require a redefinition of success. It may force you to reduce behaviors, sometimes in creative ways into their smallest possible units. You will certainly need to be willing to celebrate tiny levels of success, validating yourself for a single step in a journey of 1,000 miles.
Here’s the simple recipe (watch the whole video for more details):
- Identify a current habit, something you do every day or multiple times per day – use the restroom, get in bed at night, brew your morning coffee, enter a building or room.
- Attach a tiny behavior to the current habit you identified in step one. When I use the restroom, I will think of one thing I’m grateful for. When I get in bed at night, I will read for one minute. When I brew my morning coffee, I will drink a glass of water. When I enter or exit my bedroom, I will do one air squat.
- Celebrate your victories consistently and actively. Affirm yourself for meeting your goal. “Nice job reading tonight.” “You’re awesome at staying hydrated.” “Great form on that air squat, you did it!”
- Reassess your goals. If you’re not being successful, make your goal smaller. If you are being successful, considering making that tiny habit just a little bit bigger.