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Say Good Night to Insomnia – Book Review

Dr. Gregg D. Jacobs outlines a detailed six week program for improving sleep and eliminating insomnia in Say Good Night to Insomnia.  The most accurate description of this book is simply, “effective.”  If you’re willing to engage in the programming as prescribed in the book, it is highly likely that your quality and/or quantity of sleep will change in the desired direction.  I’d like to say the book was engaging and compelling…an interesting read, but I can’t.  Dr. Jacobs lead-up to the program includes rather dry sections on “The New State of Sleep Science”, “Some Basic Facts About Sleep and Insomnia”, and “How I Developed the Program.”  I absolutely love a solid explanation of the science and research involved in any intervention I’m trying myself or I’m recommending for clients.  That information, however, needs to be delivered with a little zest and color when aimed at a general audience.  Here…it was not.

Say Goodnight to Insomnia

All criticism aside, I am impressed with the structure and guidance provided by the author.  The six-week program involves an evidence based protocol including written assignments, ongoing assessment, and daily “homework” necessary to succeed.  Through various exercises, thoughts and behaviors pertaining to sleep are systematically altered to support healthy sleep habits.  The author does a great job recognizing and addressing mental and emotional aspects of sleep difficulties.  The program goes well beyond simple suggestions such as ensuring your sleep environment is dark and quiet (thought is does review those strategies as well).  It helps the reader unpack the negative thinking patterns and uncomfortable emotions that maintain poor sleep habits.  Regardless of how tired you are or how badly you want to fall asleep, thoughts like “I’ll never fall asleep” and “I’m going to be wrecked all day tomorrow if I don’t fall asleep right now” only serve to exacerbate stress and insomnia.  Dr. Jacobs uses fundamental strategies from cognitive-behavioral therapy to support participants in identifying and replacing unhelpful thoughts and behaviors with helpful thoughts and behaviors.  Cultivating the ability to relax throughout the day as well as when trying to sleep also becomes a priority in the attempt to find that elusive rest when you really need it.

If you’re interested in the ins-and-out of sleep science research and protocol development, start on page one and enjoy the ride.  If you really just need a concrete plan for sleeping better, start on page 70 and be prepared to commit some time and effort to changing your sleep habits.  This is a hands-on, experiential intervention, so don’t expect to simply gain some knowledge then start sleeping better.  Do the work, and you’ll be sleeping soundly before you know it (or at least at the end of six weeks).

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Want Real Change? Start Small.

I’ve seen it over and over.  I’ve done it myself.  I’ve seen friends do it, and I’ve seen clients do it. Big goals, no results.  Big goals are easy to get excited about and they’re fun to share with those around us.  Unfortunately, big goals often end up leave us feeling guilty, with compromised self-worth, and a track record of perceived failure.

Goals are meant to be motivational and provide a sense of achievement and success.  If you’re goals aren’t doing that, get new goals.  In the video below, B.J. Fogg lays out some practical examples (and the scientific data to back them up) of how to make big changes through extremely small modifications to behavior.  If we allow them to, small goals build a pattern of success, create self-efficacy, and let us enjoy the changes we’re trying to make.  Feeling persecuted by a goal, is no way to live, and generally leads to less accomplishment.

The most common arguments against setting small goals go something like this: “I don’t want to lower the bar.” or “I should be able to [bigger goal].”  or simply, “That seems dumb.”  My response is fairly consistent.  I simply ask how the big goals are helpful to making the desired changes and cultivating the desired feelings.  I was how many time they have set that big goal and failed.  At that point the option becomes clear.  Do you continue trying the strategy you know doesn’t work, or are you willing to set and celebrate goals that you’d rather not have to set?

Integrating this approach into your life may require a redefinition of success.  It may force you to reduce behaviors, sometimes in creative ways into their smallest possible units.  You will certainly need to be willing to celebrate tiny levels of success, validating yourself for a single step in a journey of 1,000 miles.

Here’s the simple recipe (watch the whole video for more details):

  1. Identify a current habit, something you do every day or multiple times per day – use the restroom, get in bed at night, brew your morning coffee, enter a building or room.
  2. Attach a tiny behavior to the current habit you identified in step one.  When I use the restroom, I will think of one thing I’m grateful for.  When I get in bed at night, I will read for one minute.  When I brew my morning coffee, I will drink a glass of water.  When I enter or exit my bedroom, I will do one air squat.
  3. Celebrate your victories consistently and actively.  Affirm yourself for meeting your goal. “Nice job reading tonight.”  “You’re awesome at staying hydrated.” “Great form on that air squat, you did it!”
  4. Reassess your goals.  If you’re not being successful, make your goal smaller.  If you are being successful, considering making that tiny habit just a little bit bigger.

 

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Yoda was Right

As an awkward twelve year old boy (redundancy noted), I spent an entire day of my summer vacation watching the three original Star Wars movie. While I’d like to say that I experienced some philosophical awakening, that was not the case. I did, however, leave my comfortable position on the couch knowing one certainty. To hone my Jedi skills, I would learn to walk on my hands, training myself just as Yoda had trained Luke in the swamps of ………. “Do or do not, there is no try.”

Over the course of the next few days and months, I committed myself whole-heartedly to my pursuit of inverted ambulation, and I fell a lot. I crashed straight to the ground at times, with my arms being unable to support my body weight. I fell sideways, crashing into the hallway that led to my bedroom. I would plummet to the floor after just a few seconds with my feet in the air. I became brave in my newfound mediocrity, and began practicing during 6th grade gym class. Mostly, I was a joke. Trying over and over and over and failing again and again and again to maintain my balance for more than a few seconds at a time.

What impacts me to this day is the grit and resilience necessary for that twelve year old kid to find success in his pursuit of becoming a Jedi. It’s easy to stay on the beaten path and take on tasks that all but ensure success. It takes something different to tackle challenges that require failure. It takes determination, consistency, patience, and a willingness to look a little foolish in the process. It takes persistent commitment to putting the effort in regardless of the short-term success.

After looking back on these generally awkward years, I realize that at twelve, I was defining success in terms of how I was doing things rather than the accomplishments or accolades I was earning. It didn’t matter that I fell, and fell, and fell. I felt successful because I didn’t allow failure to defeat me.  In many situations, the likelihood of success can be measured by how willing you are to fail in the journey towards you goal.

Next time you set a goal, ask yourself this question: Am I willing to fall on my head and look like a failure to get what I want?

Hopefully, the answer is yes.