Set Goals That Work for You

Setting helpful goals is an art.  Too often, goals are set, and they only result in feelings of disappointment, failure, and embarrassment.  If you’re goals are setting you up to feel that way, it’s time to change how you create goals.

Healthy goals will engender feelings of accomplishment, pride, excitement, and success.  Pursuing helpful goals will enrich your life by filling it with values-based action.  If your goals don’t lead to these results, REWRITE your goals until they do.

Set goals that help you feel successful.  Be flexible and start as small as you need to.  Always be willing to scale back until you find the right level of challenge and success.  A goal that’s too easy won’t push you enough, but a goal that’s too difficulty will only lead to disappointment and eventually, disengagement.

And whether it goes well or goes poorly, treat yourself like a great coach, not an overbearing critic.

When you sit down to write your goals, make sure some (maybe most) of them fit the SMART goal criteria.  Create goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.  Doing this will make it easier to recognize and celebrate your achievements, leading to bigger goals and more meaningful accomplishments.

Specific

The first term stresses the need for a specific goal rather than general goal. This means the goal is clear and unambiguous; without vagaries and platitudes. To make goals specific, they must tell a team exactly what is expected, why is it important, who’s involved, and where is it going to happen.

A specific goal will usually answer these “W” questions:

  • What: What do I want to accomplish?
  • Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.
  • Who: Who is involved?
  • Where: Identify a location.

Vague Goal = I’m going get in shape

Specific Goal = To prepare for long distance hikes this summer, I’m going to run two miles on the high school track, on Mondays and Wednesdays after work with my friend Andrew.

Measurable

The second term stresses the need for concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of the goal. The thought behind this is that if a goal is not measurable, it is not possible to know whether you are making progress toward successful completion. Measuring progress acts as a catalyst for success, the exhilaration of achievement that spurs on continued effort toward reaching the ultimate goal.

A measurable goal will usually answer questions such as:

  • How much?
  • How many?
  • How will I know when it is accomplished?

Attainable

The third term stresses the importance of goals that are realistic and attainable. While an attainable goal may stretch a team in order to achieve it, the goal is not extreme. That is, goals are either out of reach or below standard performance,  may be considered meaningless.

An attainable goal will usually answer the question:

  • Is this something I can actually achieve?

Relevant

The fourth term stresses the importance of choosing goals that matter. A goal to “Make 50 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by 2:00pm.” may be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, and Time-Bound, but it lacks relevance.  Relevant goals drive the person, the team, department, or organization forward. A goal that supports or is in alignment with other goals would be considered a relevant goal.

A relevant goal can answer yes to these questions:

  • Does this seem worthwhile?
  • Is this the right time?
  • Does this match other efforts/needs?
  • Is this important to me?

Time-bound

The fifth term stresses the importance of grounding goals within a time frame, establishing target dates. A commitment to a deadline helps focus efforts on completion of the goal. This part of the S.M.A.R.T. goal criteria is intended to prevent goals from being overtaken by the day-to-day crises that invariably arise. A time-bound goal is intended to promote a healthy sense of urgency.

A time-bound goal will usually answer the question:

  • When?
  • How long?
  • What can I do today?

Critic or Coach? Why “truth” isn’t necessarily the most helpful approach.

Critics are paid professionals that are expected to pass judgement.  Whether it’s food, a performance, a movie, or any other experience, honesty is vital their livelihood.  Without honestly, their opinions (which they’re paid to have) may no longer be valued or respected.  Critics serve a purpose, but it is rarely their intention to be, in any way, helpful to the objects of their evaluations.  Despite this spectacularly unhelpful stance, many of us fall into being critics of ourselves – evaluating and judging our behaviors and experiences without regard to the utter lack of value it brings.  Streams of critical thoughts may seem as natural as breathing in some circumstances.

“I’m so stupid/such an idiot/so irresponsible/so lazy/fat/ugly/short/depressed/etc.”

“I’m a horrible parent because I did (or didn’t do) ____________”

“If I wasn’t such a bad husband, I would ____________”

“I’m not good enough to ____________”

These criticism rarely, if ever, serve to effectively and efficiently motivate healthy change.  There may be some honest evaluation going on, but what purpose does it serve?  It fuels the furnace of guilt and self-loathing and only occasionally motivates change. In the long-run, this strategy is highly destructive.

Leave the criticism to the critics.  Unless you get paid to ruminate on your shortcomings, it’s time to switch gears.

Be coach.

Great coaches don’t dwell on the negative.  They make appropriate evaluations, but spend more time praising and encouraging the best aspects of their players.  Despite any shortcomings, they focus on what their teams do well.  When faced with failure or a daunting task, they refocus on “how” the team plays more than what the outcome is.  Win or lose – play hard, push yourself, acknowledge your teammates, and keep working.  Coaches know it sucks to lose.  Coaches get that players make mistakes. Coaches understand the tendency to be self-depreciating.  They respond with acceptance and encouragement – “Keep your head up! Keep working!”

Critics are paid to judge, coaches are paid to win.  Which offers you the be chances of flourishing?  How do you want to spend your time and energy?   Which internal narrative would be more helpful to you?