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Quick Check: Values Based Action

It’s been a while since the last blog post, and I’m planning on tightening up the time between submissions.  More wisdom is on it’s way.

Everyday provides endless opportunities to live the life we want to live, but we’ve got to paying attention, and be prepared to take advantage when an opportunity presents itself.  With that in mind, I want to provide a decision making strategy that can be applied anywhere and anytime.  When you’re making decisions mindfully (and hopefully most of the time you are), it requires intentional questions and answers in each moment.

  • Where will I choose to focus my attention?
  • What will I say in response to that greeting?
  • What tooth will I brush next?
  • What am I tasting right now?

With all those questions and choices, how can we know which path to follow?  It’s easy to fall into a pattern of looking for the ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ path, but that’s an oversimplification and introduces unnecessary judgment.  Instead you can ask, “How will this choice help me move toward my values?” or “What behavior would I be engaging in if I were behaving in alignment with my values?”

Through the course of any day, the more closely we can align our choices and behaviors to our values, the better off we’re going to be.  It minimizes guilt, regret, shame, self-criticism, and judgment.  It maximizes healthy pride, self-efficacy, contentment, and personal growth.  It allows us to live our life based on the things that are most important to us.  If you’re not sure how to define your values, you can take an initial step by downloading and printing this  values clarification worksheet.  Rate all the values on the worksheet as either very important, somewhat important, or not important.  Once you’ve identified all the values that are very important to you, narrow those down to your top ten.

By using your top ten values to make decisions, you’re sure to find yourself on a more fulfilling path in life.

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Set Goals That Work for You

Setting helpful goals is an art.  Too often, goals are set, and they only result in feelings of disappointment, failure, and embarrassment.  If you’re goals are setting you up to feel that way, it’s time to change how you create goals.

Healthy goals will engender feelings of accomplishment, pride, excitement, and success.  Pursuing helpful goals will enrich your life by filling it with values-based action.  If your goals don’t lead to these results, REWRITE your goals until they do.

Set goals that help you feel successful.  Be flexible and start as small as you need to.  Always be willing to scale back until you find the right level of challenge and success.  A goal that’s too easy won’t push you enough, but a goal that’s too difficulty will only lead to disappointment and eventually, disengagement.

And whether it goes well or goes poorly, treat yourself like a great coach, not an overbearing critic.

When you sit down to write your goals, make sure some (maybe most) of them fit the SMART goal criteria.  Create goals that are Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound.  Doing this will make it easier to recognize and celebrate your achievements, leading to bigger goals and more meaningful accomplishments.

Specific

The first term stresses the need for a specific goal rather than general goal. This means the goal is clear and unambiguous; without vagaries and platitudes. To make goals specific, they must tell a team exactly what is expected, why is it important, who’s involved, and where is it going to happen.

A specific goal will usually answer these “W” questions:

  • What: What do I want to accomplish?
  • Why: Specific reasons, purpose or benefits of accomplishing the goal.
  • Who: Who is involved?
  • Where: Identify a location.

Vague Goal = I’m going get in shape

Specific Goal = To prepare for long distance hikes this summer, I’m going to run two miles on the high school track, on Mondays and Wednesdays after work with my friend Andrew.

Measurable

The second term stresses the need for concrete criteria for measuring progress toward the attainment of the goal. The thought behind this is that if a goal is not measurable, it is not possible to know whether you are making progress toward successful completion. Measuring progress acts as a catalyst for success, the exhilaration of achievement that spurs on continued effort toward reaching the ultimate goal.

A measurable goal will usually answer questions such as:

  • How much?
  • How many?
  • How will I know when it is accomplished?

Attainable

The third term stresses the importance of goals that are realistic and attainable. While an attainable goal may stretch a team in order to achieve it, the goal is not extreme. That is, goals are either out of reach or below standard performance,  may be considered meaningless.

An attainable goal will usually answer the question:

  • Is this something I can actually achieve?

Relevant

The fourth term stresses the importance of choosing goals that matter. A goal to “Make 50 peanut butter and jelly sandwiches by 2:00pm.” may be Specific, Measurable, Attainable, and Time-Bound, but it lacks relevance.  Relevant goals drive the person, the team, department, or organization forward. A goal that supports or is in alignment with other goals would be considered a relevant goal.

A relevant goal can answer yes to these questions:

  • Does this seem worthwhile?
  • Is this the right time?
  • Does this match other efforts/needs?
  • Is this important to me?

Time-bound

The fifth term stresses the importance of grounding goals within a time frame, establishing target dates. A commitment to a deadline helps focus efforts on completion of the goal. This part of the S.M.A.R.T. goal criteria is intended to prevent goals from being overtaken by the day-to-day crises that invariably arise. A time-bound goal is intended to promote a healthy sense of urgency.

A time-bound goal will usually answer the question:

  • When?
  • How long?
  • What can I do today?
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Want Real Change? Start Small.

I’ve seen it over and over.  I’ve done it myself.  I’ve seen friends do it, and I’ve seen clients do it. Big goals, no results.  Big goals are easy to get excited about and they’re fun to share with those around us.  Unfortunately, big goals often end up leave us feeling guilty, with compromised self-worth, and a track record of perceived failure.

Goals are meant to be motivational and provide a sense of achievement and success.  If you’re goals aren’t doing that, get new goals.  In the video below, B.J. Fogg lays out some practical examples (and the scientific data to back them up) of how to make big changes through extremely small modifications to behavior.  If we allow them to, small goals build a pattern of success, create self-efficacy, and let us enjoy the changes we’re trying to make.  Feeling persecuted by a goal, is no way to live, and generally leads to less accomplishment.

The most common arguments against setting small goals go something like this: “I don’t want to lower the bar.” or “I should be able to [bigger goal].”  or simply, “That seems dumb.”  My response is fairly consistent.  I simply ask how the big goals are helpful to making the desired changes and cultivating the desired feelings.  I was how many time they have set that big goal and failed.  At that point the option becomes clear.  Do you continue trying the strategy you know doesn’t work, or are you willing to set and celebrate goals that you’d rather not have to set?

Integrating this approach into your life may require a redefinition of success.  It may force you to reduce behaviors, sometimes in creative ways into their smallest possible units.  You will certainly need to be willing to celebrate tiny levels of success, validating yourself for a single step in a journey of 1,000 miles.

Here’s the simple recipe (watch the whole video for more details):

  1. Identify a current habit, something you do every day or multiple times per day – use the restroom, get in bed at night, brew your morning coffee, enter a building or room.
  2. Attach a tiny behavior to the current habit you identified in step one.  When I use the restroom, I will think of one thing I’m grateful for.  When I get in bed at night, I will read for one minute.  When I brew my morning coffee, I will drink a glass of water.  When I enter or exit my bedroom, I will do one air squat.
  3. Celebrate your victories consistently and actively.  Affirm yourself for meeting your goal. “Nice job reading tonight.”  “You’re awesome at staying hydrated.” “Great form on that air squat, you did it!”
  4. Reassess your goals.  If you’re not being successful, make your goal smaller.  If you are being successful, considering making that tiny habit just a little bit bigger.