Fear
Barnabus Browning
Was scared of drowning,
So he never would swim
Or get into a boat
Or take a bath
Or cross a moat.
He just sat day and night
With his door locked tight
And the windows nailed down,
Shaking with fear
That a wave might appear,
And cried so many tears
That they filled up the room
And he drowned.
By: Shel Silverstein, from A Light in the Attic
Our efforts to protect ourselves and those we care about from fear are often more destructive than the feared situation. Barnabus Browning did everything he could to avoid drowning. In doing so, he eliminated his own access to 71% of the Earth’s surface. Even if he didn’t cry “so many tears that they filled up the room and he drowned,” Barnabus restricted himself to his home – No pleasure cruises. No surfing. No island retreats. No beautiful ocean sunsets, No lazy Sundays fishing off a dock. No triathalon finishes. It’s not actually the fear that stops Barnabus from engaging in these activities, it’s his avoidance of the fear. If he were willing to be scared, willing to lean into it and learn from it, he could do all of it.
Only through changing our relationship with fear can we teach ourselves that it’s a manageable emotion rather than something that has to be avoided. Every time we tell ourselves, “I’ll do it once I get over my fear,” we’re indulging in unnecessary avoidance that perpetuates the the idea that we can’t (or shouldn’t) be afraid. It’s fine to be scared and do it anyway, whatever “it” happens to be. Allowing fear to dictate decisions only fuels fear and restricts our experiences.