I frequently use this poem by Shel Silverstein to illustrate the importance of perspective and the pervasiveness of false dichotomies. Read the poem then continue reading below.
When given an either-or proposition, it’s extremely easy to lose the nuanced experience of who we are and how we experience the world.
Are you a good mother with some bad ways or bad mother with some good ways?
Are you a kind person with some hateful habits or hateful person with some kind habits?
Was it a gorgeous sunset with some ugliness or an ugly sunset with some beauty shining through?
Are you a great friend with some disengaged days or a disengaged friend with some great days?
Was it a wonderful day or horrible day?
Before you invest in answering those questions, consider that in any given moment, both can be true. As a mother, a father, a friend, or a sibling, you make contributions and cause distress. Every sunset has it’s high points and low points. Every day provides opportunities to revel in gratitude or complain incessantly. As it becomes easier to lean toward the negative, it becomes increasingly important to maintain a balance. Accept the struggles while actively acknowledging the (sometimes small) moments of awesomeness throughout the day. Above all, hold on to the realization the you, and the world around you, is NEVER just one way.